Friday, December 21, 2007

Saawariya - Boredom Unlimited

On the ninth of November, while Diwali celebrations were in full swing, my mind decided to plunge into an ocean of neon light darkness - I bought tickets to SAAWARIYA.
Here's a glance at my mental status as I struggled through three hours of endless night, thirsting for sunlight at the end of the tunnel......

As the reel begins to roll, we're ceremoniously introduced to Bhansalipur, where roads lead nowhere, and the Eiffel tower stands next to the Big Ben.Then, there's a market place right next to a Venice-style lake, and people (it's a women dominated society and our hero is the only male visible) use the London bridge to ask for a cup of dahi next door.Sheesh! Who the heck would like to live here, even if it's "The City of Dreams"?!

Bhansali probably took himself too seriously. Except the music, he goofs up almost everywhere. Even his actress, gigglaciously pretty, shatters the heart-wrenching silence of judaai scenes by breaking into a series of irritating, ear-splitting giggles, or with stupidiotic dialogues like,"Ok, Bye!".

Next, I seriously have a complaint against this extravagant use of neon lights.Oh mannn, the entire movie was shot in the night!! Is this Antarctica or something, where we have 6 months day and 6 months night??!!!

Well, probably since it was so 'dark', Saawariyaa never saw light at the box office.

I still experience terrifying Saawariyaa nightmares.

Hoping u were spared,

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Kithabon ki Kahaani, Meri Zhubani.....


Today, I wish to write about books.Yeah, books! OK, i know most of u wouldn't read the rest of it, but still, for the sake of the few booklovers still left......

Books.Books in the library, books on the table, books on the shelf, books in the kitchen, and mags in the toilet too! I'm drowned in an ocean of books, but which rescue boat should i choose? should it be a dickens, an Isaac Asimov or a Saki, while in the bookstore?

u might ask inky-pinky and ponky for help, or might as well refer to my guide of books.

Here it goes.....

1) The title of the book shouldn't go over your head.Like...."My name is red"!?!

2) The picture of the author should be printed on the cover. If he frowns too much, smiles awkwardly, or seems to pose especially for the picture, then put the book back to where it belongs, and hope that it stays there for long.

3) The cover should not have confusing illustrations. For example, if the title is, say, "Tragedy", then the girl on the cover should stop showing off all her pearly whites.

4) The print in the book shouldn't seem like a thousand hundred black ants scrawling all over u.

5) Read the first few pages.If u manage to stay awake, then move on to the next step.

6) If the price is a number u know existed in the number system, then go on, zip open your pockets and buy the book!!

(Still, if my advice doesn't work, and u begin hating the book, then persuade ur best friend that it's the nicest book uv ever read, deserves a Sahitya Akademi,a Nobel prize, a Booker, and blah blah blah, until she snatches it away from u, and u strike a fair deal with her Ruskin Bond. ;) )