Thursday, May 27, 2010

My Class 10 Result

Hi everyone. My class 10 results were declared today. CBSE has introduced a confusing grading system, so it's a bit difficult to describe my marks. I've got A1 Grade (above 90) in all subjects .i.e. English, Science, Maths, Information Technology, Social Science and Sanskrit. Each A1 stands for 10 points. So, I've got Cumulative Grade Point Average (CGPA) of 10/10. Multiplying this by 9.5, I get an average aggregate of 95%. All my classmates have got superb grades too. Everyone has scored a CGPA above 9 (i.e.above 85.5%).

However, one of my best friends has got a very unexpected result. She is crying and refuses to pick up the phone. A topper girl, who beat me hands down in the Pre Boards, has scored A2 (81-90) in English while kids who usually scored in 60's have got A1. All the backbenchers have scored like toppers (they didn't even attempt several questions), while many intelligent friends have got shocking results. I feel very angry because these people put in the same effort as I did and still weren't given good grades.

I'm not famous for my luck and expected crappy things to happen to me too. I really must thank Bhagwan for changing his mind for once...

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Less than two weeks to go for my SST Board exam...Yikes!!!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

:)

At 11:45 last night, I gathered my mobile, cordless phone and other aids of communication lying about the house, and settled down with some pillows in front of the TV for a sleepless night ahead. I was joyous for two reasons - One, in exactly a quarter of an hour I would complete 15 years of ruthless consumption of the planet's oxygen, and two, several people had hinted that they wanted to share this proud moment with me - exactly when the cuckoo clock struck twelve.

However, the poor sleep deprived soul that I am, I slipped into a beautiful slumber, dreaming about gift wrapped Twilight books and imported perfumes sitting on my table. I woke up only at 12:30. No missed calls. No messages. From anyone! I felt really vain and idiotic, sitting there with so many phones but not a soul to talk to. Where were those several people?? Thinking that there would soon be a new addition to my list of most disappointing birthdays, I returned to my dream.

But guess what? The celestial bodies governing my destiny changed their minds, and this turned out to be my BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!! I'll share the details with you later...too occcupied with today's events! :P

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Finally, it's here...

The results of CBSE class Xth exams were announced today. Totally DRAMATIC. BRILLIANT. OUTSTANDING. A good friend has topped the school with 98.4% (100 in two subjects, 97 in English), followed by an arithmetic progression - 97, 96.6,96.4, 96.0, 95.8, 95.6, 95.4, 95.2....sab ki toh lottery lag gayi.

With such good results, I can imagine the scene at school right now. The teary-eyed teachers, led by my Sanskrit ma'am, must be standing in the hexagon, sending some shlokas to heaven, hugging each other and eating ghar ki mithai. Even the usually reticent princi will do a secret jig in his office. He will then sit and write an essay about the good deeds he did in the past, which made him deserve such happiness. (Later of course, he plans to share this 8000 word essay in the assembly when we return to school.)

Sitting here, I can just hope that these marks don't put extra pressure on us when we give the exams next year...

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I just realized it's exactly two years since I wrote the first post on this blog.
(Yea, I'm still lurking around somewhere! :) )

Sunday, January 25, 2009

I finally stretched my pretty little fingers to make some minor changes to the blog. So now you do me a favour by complimenting them. :)

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Last Post of 2008

I'm currently occupied with a Disaster Management project. Talking of disasters, the fantastic news is that my entire neighbourhood is coming together for a New Year bash tonight. Going by their tastes in party music, I can predict I'll be lulled to sleep by local Indian Idols claiming to have mastered the fine art of loud, incorrigible, nasty Akon-ish rap. That's what you call a musical disaster...

Coming from a mother who had to look up the net to comprehend the meaning of kitty party, and a father who shrieks and runs at the sight of business parties, I clearly justify my genes. I simply detest loud social dos with bizarre food, bizarre drinks and bizarre people gyrating to the sound of bizarre music. But don't get me wrong. I love music. And I love food. But throw in some 'kya ye aapki beti hai? ohh kitni pyari hai. badi ho gayi hai na? kuch padti hai ki bas mamma ko tang karti hai. ha ha ha.' dialogues, gossip, flashy sarees and lots of fake smiles coming from aunties triple your size, and you have the perfect start for a new year...

So then it's decided, I'm staying back home on New years Eve. Most probably, studying. After all, tomorrow onwards, I'm officially into my Board Year.
~jan.

(P.S. Went in for a haircut today, after realizing that I looked the same in all my school photographs taken since class 4. Same hairstyle. Same face. Same pose. And same height.
And I look a bit like this guy. Seriously.

Sigh. Well, no matter how I look, you guys have a great year ahead...Happy New Year to everybody! :D )

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Hang on...I'm still here!

Hi guys! Seriously....I've been away for so long I wonder I still have anyone to greet!!

Anyway, a HUGE thank you to the kind souls (Tush and Snobo) who still visit my blog in hope for a fresh new post (and are always disappointed), and generously drop in some We miss you comments that really make my day.

You see, somehow, things have changed so much since the last time I wrote a post, it feels as if an entirely different person is writing this one. Well, since I have not yet transformed into a reincarnation of my ex-principal, I plan not to go into details and bore you with my saga.

I'll just say this hasn't been a very good year - many things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to. Almost everyday, I went to school in a cheerful mood, only to be disappointed at the beginning of the day itself. I don't really remember any specific day or incident at school - the past few months all seem like one long, not-so-happy day.

Still, if I look back at the thousands of happy moments I had in class last year, it actually seems fair that I have an equal share of trying times as well. So once I changed my outlook, I wasn't that upset anymore.

Anyway, it was during this time that I discovered some really true friends - AppyFizz, Shaggy, Shub, Aish, Aashi, Akki, Medz – all of whom expressed their genuine concern. But yea, some did crack those senti film dialogues. Eww!

Anyway, you guys don't worry. Things are looking up now; there's a new boost of confidence in me. Some good opportunities have come my way; I hope to give them my best shot. And with such wonderful company, I guess times could only get better!

Wish me luck! :)

signing off with a note of optimism,
lotsa luv,
jan.
(P.S. Just because I didn't blog doesn't mean i haven't been writing yaar! Many new posts lined up...!)

Friday, July 18, 2008

BACK...with some news!

You remember the short story competition I told you about in my last post? We are a team of 20 kids, and each had to submit a story. Well, I wrote one and my English teacher liked it so much that we planned to convert it into a 5 minute movie and send it in for a movie making competition. We had the cast, production team, director, camera man (all amateurs) and everything else ready, but the problem was...the movie had to be shot at somebody's apartment, we needed uncles and aunties to play the older characters (nobody was willing) and professional help for handling the cameras and do the choreographing. And we had to do all this in just 1 day!

You can go to youtube.com and type 'Ordinatrix' (the name of our competition) in the search bar. The first three-four videos won prizes last year in the same competition. I have my story visualized in a similar manner, but it's impractical to start shooting when there's so little time left. The last date is Monday; Sunday is reserved for editing and special effects. So even if I change my mind and start directing this thing, I have just the next 24 hours. And mind you, perfecting one scene takes around 2 hours. We do not have guidance from any teacher or expert, it's just us - 14 year old kids.

There have been many ego hassles between the team members as well, because everybody wants to direct their own story. I helped my best friend in the rehearsals for her movie even though my own script wasn't ready, but she didn't give a hoot about mine. So the politics is another reason why I want to back out. It will be a lot of headache and time waste for many others as well, and we don't even know if the hard work will pay....

Looking at the brighter side, our movie (only if selected among the top ten) will be shown in PVR Cinemas all over Delhi, and the entire school will be invited to watch it.

So you tell me....fast....to shoot or not to shoot??!

~ a thoughtful jan.

(P.S. I went to a Science model exhibition in a nearby school today, had lotsa fun and made many new friends (and bunked school.Yays!) 'Twas interesting, but the kids presenting the models didn't know a thing. We had a nice time torturing them with stupid questions and acting extra inquisitive and interested! ;) )

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Ideas Plz

There is a very short story competition to be held in a nearby school and there are around 20 students taking part in it. We have to work as a team to develop a story, which will later on be staged as a skit.

If you have any good ideas on which I can build a story of around 250 words, do share them with me.

Thank You.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Just one week left for my summer holidays to end...

Since both my parents are working, I had to spend most of the time alone at home. Initially, I found it very boring, sitting all alone with nobody to talk to but the walls. Many of my close friends were happily vacationing in some part of the country, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to pass time, except watch TV and surf the net....

I googled, orkutted, wikipediad, yahooed, blogged and did 1001 other things that are listed as completely useless in the 'Useless Encyclopedia for Useless People' (Coming soon to a bookstore near you. Authored by who, but me). I started reading blogs and made some very nice friends (Snobo, Tshhar, Criss, Pankhuri, Keshi and Purneetha) and eventually, became a blog addict.

Then, my super woman of a mother decided to turn the house upside down and get some renovation etc. done, all in just ONE week. To keep pests out of her way (read me), she got me enrolled in a boring C++ workshop. So there I was, a poor li'l kid trotting off with a school bag to a total pakau workshop in the middle of my holidays. Things improved considerably when I found my friend Shaggy (and some tasty food) there. Together, we managed to create a record of 100 yawns per minute during the class (And we plan to break our own record during Sanskrit classes this year), and drove the poor teacher crazy. Now I consider it my Fundamental Right to trouble ALL teachers, good or bad, and this teacher was too good a specimen to be ignored. But I'll save this topic for another time....

The theory part of C++ was awful, but I did quite well in the logical part, which included programs and lots of Maths. The other thing I gained was a couple of good memories of Shaggy and me, sitting under a fountain in my father's office, drinking lassi and listening to her chattering happily. At the end of the workshop, we became great friends, and I hope we remain so for a long, long time to come...

Then came my best friend Aru's birthday bash. Many of my schoolmates attended the party too, and we had a jolly good time dancing, screaming, gossiping and singing tunelessly....

Sigh...time flies so fast. The last 45 days have been a blast, but I now look forward to school. Meeting all my friends - Britney, Drama Queen, Aru, Softy, Shaggy, Appu Ghar, Ash, Shy and others whom I've missed so much. I miss the teachers too, life is so boring without them. But I bet they don't miss 'very nice' students like ME! ;)

A grinning jan.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Usual Blah Blah

Hey do check out this blog:
http://swadeshi-library.blogspot.com

This is a group blog about good books owned by some of my new found bloggie frndz.

To the few readers of this blog, if I disappear from this blog and just in case you miss me, you'll find me on this blog!

jan aka net addict.

Friday, June 6, 2008

TAGging along...

Tshhar has passed on a tag. I just did my Sanskrit homework, and there's a dog barking outside. So you can expect some really crappy answers. Wouldn't blame you if u express a desire to teleport me to Mars. Anything is better than barking dogs.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on a random page and find random line.
"This is a book on the Constitution of India". Duh!

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
...and yays! You're the new traffic policeman.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Kya Aap Paanchvi Paas Se Tez Hain? (Nahin)

4. Without looking, guess what time it is?
Dinner time!! :D

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
22 hours, 10 minutes, 12 scs.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
A barking dog, a bathroom singer and a growling stomach.

7. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
My reflection on the computer screen. I wonder why my day's been so bad...

9. What are you wearing?
T-shirt, denim skirt. From Pantaloons.

10. Did you dream last night?
Yes. Of getting trapped with my ex-SST teacher on a deserted island. Not the perfect 'dream' vacation.

11.When did you last laugh?
During Ice Age. Typical Pareshaan Aatma.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Paint. Pink colour.

13. What do u think of this quiz?
Time paas.

14. Which was the last film u saw?
Littel Women. OSSUM!!

15. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Microsoft Corp. And some chocolate.

16. Tell me something about you that I dunno.
I love cocolate. Surprise.

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Will stop Global Warming. That will save me from writing boring science essays.

18. Do you like to dance?
Yes. Govinda ishtyle.

19. George Bush
*yawn* Holidaying on a tree house, Mr. 'Bush'?

20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
My son.

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Nahin!!! Main apni matrabhoomi ko kabhi nahin chodungi!
On second thoughts, I love New York.

22.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Welcome to the party!

23. People who may do this memo in their journal.
Everybody is welcome. I'd love to hear Snobo and Criss's answers.

buh-bye!
jan.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Buddae Today!

I turn 14 today....going on 15.

YIPEEEE!!

feeling very loved and pampered,
jan.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Doggie Kool

This is Snowie...my friend Ishita's two month old puppy. Isn't he cute??

Woof Woof! I'm Snowie - Mr. India 2008 !

Sadly, another doggie was not lucky enough to pose for a photo. My best friend AP's new born pomeranian pup, Teeni, died a few days ago due to some infections. But her brother, Tiny, is still alive. Let's hope he grows up to be a cute 'n' healthy pup...

jan.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Suggestions open for post title.

Venue: Mom's office.

Time: After digesting samosas and before eating gulab jamuns.
Current Occupation: Indulging in blissful velapanti. Wasting 6 hours on the net. Searching for blog fodder.
Current thoughts: To do Sanskrit Homework.
Current second thoughts: Will do that later.
I don't have much to write about, so I'm posting a poem which I wrote the last time I visited a workplace...around the age of 9.

I edited quite a few things in the poem, but left the spelling and grammatical errors untouched. It's very, very kiddish, but I still love it! :)

Office Office
When I entered mom's office,
The adult world greeted me.
Smiles, chocolates, cakes and muffins
Oh! I felt like a VIP.
I spotted uncles
They were typing furiously.
And aunties in glittering saris,
Speaking amica'bily'. :P
There were mountains of files
Which came up to my nose,
And the smell of samosa
Also reached my nose.
Everybody was busy
So I wandered here and there.
Troubled everyone
And ate there heads.
I played a game on computer
And talked to my friend.
I ate aloo paneer and matar
And burger in the end. (I don't think I really ate all that then! Was Miss-skin-and-bones.)
But I had a very nice day
At five o' clock,
I said bye to the world of adults
And Mummy took me away....


That's all for now...hope u liked it! ;)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

My blog turned an year old yesterday.


Well, I must confess, when a friend introduced me to Blogger an year ago, I had rolled my eyes, thinking it must be just another 'public venting machine' for guys who stuck to their computers like permamanent glue. It was for people who'd suffered heartaches, bad hair days, bad marks, broken fingernails, nerdy friends or were unlucky enough to see Khali in person. In short, it was the favourite pastime for all the vela people in the world....


But now, an year later, I give myself THREE SLAPS for saying that (plus some more on behalf of my blogger pals, who are in no way eccentric!).


And even though my hands are busy nursing my red cheek, I type with my elboes to say that if Blogger were a human being, he/she (whichever gender it prefers) would be my best friend. I would save a seat for her everyday in the bus, share my lunch with her during recess, do all her homework (Sanskrit included), share all my secrets with her, and giggle at stupid jokes till we drove the teachers crazy.

Thanks Blogger. I kicked aside the TV to make blogging my fav hobby. And yes, I promise to be a better bloggie in the years to come...

searching for b'day candles,
jan

Saturday, May 17, 2008

IQ - Ignorance Quotient.

I gave an online IQ test today.
Ok. So I gave thousands of IQ tests today. And got a different score each time. I started off with 80 (am i the inhabitant of a madhouse?), then got 115 (im such a dork), then 134 (not bad...), then 148 (did somebody hack my account or what?), and suddenly, I got 160 (whoa!!!!).
So I concluded my IQ changes with my mood. With my clothes. And with what I ate for breakfast....

I may not know what my IQ exactly is, but I'm sure of the following things. Pakka.

1) I'm as stupid as the participants on 'Main Paanchvi Paas Se Tez Hun'.

3) I'm so dumb I moved on to point (3) before writing point (2).

4) I'm smarter than Mr.Bean, Charlie Chaplin, Govinda, Paris Hilton and other you-know-whos.

5) I'm as smart as the model who got 5/100 in a history test. Extra marks for good handwriting.
6) I don't stare at a bottle of orange juice just because it says "Concentrate".

7) Scientists say humans use just 10% of their brain. I can prove them wrong. I use just 8%.

8) I totally believe that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. And that they are on an exchange programme.

9) Still, I'm not as bad as my neighbour who took his computer to the doctor when it had a virus attack.

10) Till today, I thought 'Stardust' is an astronomy magazine. Really.


Miss-obsessed-with-my-IQ.
(P.S. Jus kiddin'. No inferiority complex.)

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Wateva!

People or things that I love the most, in order of how much I love them (conditions apply. Of course.) :

1) PUPPIES

2) Puppies

3) Puppies (I hate it when they bark, though)

4) Chocolates (I hate 5 Star and dark chocolates)

5) Mum and Dad (They'll be automatically awarded the first position if/when they buy me a CD of Bhool Bhulaiya, which I desperately wanna watch)

6) Blogger

7) Google

8) Orkut

9) Pals at school (pals only. NOT school.)

10) Spiderman

11) JK Rowling (You dropped down to 11 when you killed Voldy)

12) The Radio ( only when those RJs keep quiet)

101) Mahatma Gandhi

10,001) Shah Rukh Khan

10,00,00,001) My English Teacher

10,00,00,00,003) The guy in the bus who calls me a moti (liar!!)

-the couch potato aka jan.
(P.S. Bad news. All of you are tagged. Now, like it or not, you MUST write about the people or things you love the most. And let's see where I feature in it! :D )

Sunday, May 11, 2008

A long drive on a rainy day

I am a very unlucky kid. Who in the whole wide world has an exam on the first day of his/her summer vacations??
Well, the exam in question was the second round of the National Talent Search Exam. The examination centre was miles away in midtown Delhi, so we had to leave at 6 in the morning. And a few minutes later, it started drizzling....

There was hardly any traffic, and the roads seemed huge and empty. Everything was so wet and clean. There was some beautiful music playing on the radio, and the pitter patter of rain added to the scene. My nervousness about the exam just got blown away with the cool wind.
There is something so peaceful about such mornings. We hear people complaining about the environment in Delhi everyday, but I guess they've never travelled during the best time of the day!

We reached the centre more than an hour before the exam. It was a pretty decent Government school, surrounded by huge white walls and lots of greenery. Also, there were the government quarters nearby. A man was walking his cute pomeranian, that kept on running away from him, and barked for no apparent reason. Later though, we realized it was this silly pussy that had infuriated him!
I also met an old classmate who had left school a few years ago, and was thought to be Einstein-Part 2. And my exam went off ok-ok too, as I'd expected. Even if I don't qualify, I know the experience has been totally worth the hard work....

I wanted to tell you about the coaching classes I'd attended for this exam. We used to stay back at school long after everybody left, and studied trigonometry and electronic configuration (nonchalantly, obviously), and left only when it got dark. Many times, I was all alone in the empty building, and you could imagine how terrifying that was!!

Well, now at present, I'm looking forward to a pleasant vacation. And I guess my hopes end with this huge pile of holiday homework staring back at me....

ciao!
jan

Monday, April 7, 2008

Take 4

Today was the fourth day of the new session at school. We have ten senseless subjects, and ten equally senseless teachers. Our sanskrit teacher seems to be the reincarnation of some great saint, cuz she just can't stop preaching goodness, kindess, truthfullness etc. to her rather 'evil' class. Another teacher resembles a football with legs. The science teacher has an obsession with the letter 'S', and does more hissing than teaching. Another teacher created a record by wearing the same clothes to class for four consecutive days. But yes, all of them are angels as compared to the awful lot we got last year....

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Total Time Pass

My exam results were declared a few days earlier, and considering I'm still alive and kicking, you can safely assume they weren't that bad. Actually, they weren't bad at all.

So now, I have one full week of lazy holidays till the new session begins. Funny, but just when we're all excited to enter our new class, the creepy teachers give us these free tickets for some vacation to Timbuktu. But when we're dying to revise our syllabus before the exams, a holiday becomes a faraway fantasy. It's almost like offering a free air conditioned room in the winters.

In these hols, my timetable usually consists of munching Lays chips, sleeping for 10 hours, watching TV, gulping down bottles of Coca Cola, feasting on tikki burgers, french fries and ice cream. No wonder people say I've robbed a McDonald's outlet. But it's not as if I eat cuz I want to eat. I just eat to pass time. And cuz it gives me an excuse to sleep, and digest whatever I've wolfed down.

Recently, mum commented I was transforming into some human Garfield. She joked I was some sleeping beauty, who wants to be caged in a castle. (To give you a clear picture of what followed, I would advise you to watch episode 35091 of any of Ekta Kapoor's drama-filled saas-bahu soaps; but just replace the tearful bahu with a sweet, innocent looking kiddo of 13.) At the end of the argument, mum won. Obviously. It's like a nerd trying to defeat Mike Tyson at his own game. So mum dragged me off to go walking, the first step to weight loss, with her.

Walking at eight in the night with crickets adding to the background score might sound pleasant. Very pleasant. But wait. It's also the time the angry office goers return home racing in their Honda City's, and televisions are set at full volume, so much so that poor pedestrians in the middle of the streets can hear Rakhi Sawant's comments on losing Nach Baliye and Dhoni underplaying his recent victory on CNN IBN. Eight in the night is also the time when the vegetable and fruit vendors arrive with their loaded carts, and aunties are burdened with the task of deciding what curry they would prepare for dinner that night. So a peaceful road adorned with flickering streetlights eventually turns into the most happening place in the colony, and walking, the best sport in the world (not that I know many). As we walked, I chatted a lot with mum too, filling her on the latest news from school, and that Kareena Kapoor was actually lighter than me.

Apart from walking, I caught up on some reading too. Well, I'm not the one who crosses the road with her nose buried in a hard bound book and causes a traffic jam, but on the other hand, I don't need an inauguration ceremony when I'm entering a bookstore too. I just read whatever I can find, mostly judging a book by its cover illustrations and other components of the jacket. A good book, for me, refers to anything that can entertain me while nothing's good on MTV. I just read Chetan Bhagat's books-'One night at the Call Centre' and 'Five Point Someone'- and found the latter incredibly boring. I also read 'Interpreter of Maladies', which happily accompanies mum these days to work in her giant office bag , and decided that a short story wasn't my cup of tea.

Well, I've updated you about my activities in the past week, and am eagerly looking forward to my first day in class 9. But now, I gotta go. The pizza (with extra cheese) delivery man just arrived.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

HOLIday

I've always been one of those kids who hide in their mum's dupatta whenever the doorbell rings on Holi, when enthusiastic kids half my height wait eagerly to test their new pichkaris, with me as guinea pig.

I've never been able to understand the purpose behind discolouring beautiful people and transforming them into cartoon characters. Well, my experiences with Holi have always been bad. If not bad bad, they've been humiliating for me, and humourous for most others. And how can I forget that fateful Holi three years ago, a few days before I entered class 6th....

I was merrily hopping to the market, after making sure the coast was clear and not a single pichkari with world destroying capabilities was within the radius of 10 metres. But how was I to know there was an evil plan being hatched on the roof? The next moment, I stood drenched in the red and watery contents of a huge balti, with evil laughs resounding in my ears....

The same day, our over-enthusiastic neighbour dabbed a suspicious-looking blue powder all over my face. Although it washed off, it left me itching all day long, and the skin around my right eye turned an ugly blue-black. I tell you, never trust your neighbour. Especially on Holi.

So when I attended my first day of class 6th, not only were my arms and legs dyed red, I had a huge black patch around my eye. One kid actually had the cheek to ask whether I had gone boxing with my ferocious SST teacher, and she had boxed my eye or something...

Naturally, I'd come to dread Holi, and became a patient of Holiphobia. I migrated from behind the curtains and started hiding under the bed. I would hate the sound of Amitabh Bacchan stretching his vocal chords on Rang Barse. I would wear brand new clothes and think this would sensitize people not to spoil the attire of a poor ol' soul. I was even honoured with the distinction of being the one and only Delhite who hated Holi. (Sheesh, atleast I was honoured with something!)

But this Holi, fate had other plans. I was to be pushed out of the house by my mum and told not to return until every toenail looked colourful. My mum, the same mum, who had once guarded me against all Holi players, said this to me. Dad added fuel to the fire, saying he'd call an ambulance in advance, lest I came back with my mouth filled with toxic colours or something. I felt betrayed. And hurt.

But not wanting to argue, I proceeded cautiously down the road with a packet of herbal colours. I had oiled my hair nicely, so much so my mum could have cooked aloo paranthas with the oil dripping from it. I met my friends from school at the gate, who seemed to have bathed in a rainbow, and hesitantly offered my cheek for a dab of colour. I checked if they too used herbal colours, and constantly reminded them to stop reaching for my eyes, as colours can actually make a person blind. As time passed, I became used to balloons suddenly exploding in my hair and powder going into my mouth and eyes. (Don't worry, nothing happened. I can still see the monitor and the keyboard.) And I hate to admit this, but I soon began to enjoy myself and became a part of all the craziness....

You wouldn't believe this, but I was totally drenched and hardly recognizable. Even my teeth were reddish in colour. I bet I resembled those maths teachers at school, who dabbed lipstick in a hurry during the recess, and came to class with red lipstick sticking to their teeth. When I reached home, my mum screamed and called my dad, claiming there was a hooligan at the door. It took an entire 10 minutes to persuade her that it was me, her lovable daughter, to gain an entry into the house. Then began the rigorous task of removing the colours in the washroom. I scrubbed myself with a pumice stone, till the time my skin threatened to peel off. But I came out with no significant improvement, and reminiscent of that 'fateful' Holi three years ago....

I would love to show you guys my picture and make you understand the severity of my problem, but I don't want an increase in the number of heart patients in our already over-burdened hospitals.

I was later told by my dear friend that the colours she used were 20% stronger and long lasting, to retain the after effects of Holi for a long time. To add to my troubles, my exam results are to be declared the day after tomorrow, and I don't want nasty teachers laughing and scolding me simultaneously. Worse, what if they start giving me cosmetic tips in front of the entire class? Or what if the kindergarden kids start laughing at me?
Oh no, oh no....God, I know Holi goes on for days in heaven, but pleaseeee, step down to earth and HELP ME OUT!

in great trauma,
jan

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Exams Ahoy

Here are a few notes I made while studying for my History exam...

Mangal Pandey : The somehow-related, long lost ancestor of my music teacher Mr.Pandey and was famous for his moustache.
General Dyer : Manufacturers of generally used hair dyes.
Lal, Bal and Pal : Red haired patriots.
Gandhiji : A great, idealistic man who changed Munnabhai's life.
Nehru : Rahul Gandhi's great granddad.
The Iron man of India : Refers to a man so strong that bullets bounced off his chest.
The Non-cooperation Movement : Students of schools refuse to cooperate with teachers, by submitting the homework in 'stages'.
Congress Session at Calcutta in 1906 : Demand for Swaraj or self-government, a movement led by student leaders for participation in the running of the school.
Swadeshi and boycott movements : Bonfires of naughtiness that ignited the hearts of the ruling chemistry teachers.
Partition of Bengal, 1905 : The disintegration of a united class, on the basis of the language chosen, i.e. Hindi or Sanskrit.
Imerial Dubar, 1911 : Shifting of the capital of the naughtiest kids in school, from middle to high school.
Morley-Minto reforms: the new mint-flavoured mouth freshner.


PHEW....History is soooo 'relevant'!

Friday, February 15, 2008

V-Day

A bouquet of fragrant roses,
Tickling your nose.
Heart-warming cards,
And shouts of joy.
Boxes of heart shaped chocolates,
Coated with love.
Red dresses, blushing cheeks
And pearly-white smiles.
Happy ladies, kids and lads,
Thus begin excited young lives.

The sun smiles through the window.
Surprise! It's a sunny morn
On a winter day.
The garden blooms,
The puddles shine.
The trees sway,
And flowers glow.
Oh why does it rain roses,
Halfway thru' February?
Is it 'cuz....
It's V-Day, so very early?

Well, being just a young teen, V-Day does not hold much significance for me....or maybe, it does!
It's a festival celebrating love, right? So don't I love my mom, my dad, my friends, and the puppies in my society?

So yea, let's all celebrate the fesival of love, just as enthusiastically as we celebrate the festival of lights, and the festival of colours, and teach each other to love, and destroy all differences that build up a wall of hatred between us.

After all, somebody once said,there are many in the world who die due to starvation, and hundreds due to thirst. But there are many more who die due to the scarcity of love and kindness........

jan